RIP all my other teasers that have been gathering dust in my drafts for years, only for me to end up getting this out the door within a day.
It most definitely has to do with the fact that this story isn’t bogged down by xianxia terms. Favoritism is real.
Anyway, I’ll be tentatively picking this up as a project for up to 3 chapters! Hopefully I’ll continue even past that number, but we’ll see.
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TL: Mikan
Editor: Mandarin
Chapter 01: Sorry, The System is Crashing……
“Wu Ye[1], Wu Ye……”
Each word was followed by another, respectfully and patiently, as if there was no end.
Yin Zhan opened his eyes, shaking off the aftereffects of his hangover as he lazily sat up.
By his bedside, Xiao[2] Huai cajoled him with a nervous smile, “Wu Ye, you’ve finally woken up.”
“If I still hadn’t woken up, you would’ve yelled the soul out of my body,” Yin Zhan said, looking like he wanted to smile. He raised his head, but upon seeing that Xiao Huai’s nose was stuffed with paper and there was a distinctly hand-shaped imprint on his left cheek, Yin Zhan let out a stifled laugh, pfft. “Hey, your appearance today isn’t so bad.”
Xiao Huai miserably said, “Don’t mention it anymore Wu Ye, isn’t this because it’s almost time for the Qingming Festival.”
Yin Zhan immediately laughed loudly. “That brother of yours burned two beautiful women for you again?”
“I know right.” Xiao Huai wanted to cry but didn’t have the tears for it.
This was the fourth year that had passed since his death.
Every Qingming and Hanshi Festival, his brother in the living world would burn paper offerings. Sports cars and a variety of luxury goods aside, he would also burn two beauties for him. The problem was that in the first year of his death, Xiao Huai had found his true love in the ghost realm. Nowadays, whenever the festivals were being celebrated, there would be beauties coming to find him, so you could just imagine the look on his wife’s face.
While Yin Zhan was washing his face, he leisurely said, “With this kind of brother, if you reincarnate well in the future, you should just marry him.”
Xiao Huai replied, “Wu Ye, hurry up and stop making fun of me. I’m already thinking of saving up enough money to go to the Dreamsend Tower and visit my brother in dreams, so that he can tone it down.”
“Do you even have to save up money for that?” Yin Zhan offered him his opinion, “You should do this: if you go out and tell them that you can convince me to go to the Ghost Palace, those family members of mine would definitely fight over who gets to bring you to the Dreamsend Tower.”
Xiao Huai’s heart suddenly leaped in his chest. “How could that be okay!” He quickly realized something. “Wait wait, you’re willing to go to the Ghost Palace?”
Yin Zhan let out a curt laugh, but there wasn’t much joy in it. “Hmph, don’t they all say that it’s difficult to go against the Will of Heaven.”
Xiao Huai went to say something, but stopped upon seeing that the other had already gone out the door. Internally, he let out a deep sigh.
Unlike us lowly peasant ghosts, the Yin family was a prestigious family of the ghost realm that had already existed for millennia. Not only were they powerful in the ghost realm, but they had also obtained the favor of heaven, which allowed their later descendants to see their fated ones——proof that this was true lay in how the Yin family’s marriages turned out extraordinarily well, their family’s influence expanding farther and farther.
Others would be envious, but the overwhelming majority of the unmarried Yin family members were very opposed to it. After all, they couldn’t pick their own spouse. If they listened to the mirror, they wouldn’t be able to feel happy about it. This was especially the case for this fifth young master of the Yin family.
The large residence was unusually quiet, so much so that not even a trace of another ghost could be seen. Yin Zhan walked all the way to the main gates of the residence, and finally smiled as he commented, “It really looks like it doesn’t matter whether I leave or not.” He stepped out the gates, heading out on the path to the right.
Xiao Huai followed after him for a while, before questioning him, “Wu Ye, are you really going to the Ghost Palace?”
“Might as well go,” Yin Zhan said. “No matter where I go outside of these city walls, people will block my way back, won’t they.”
Xiao Huai laughed hollowly. The moment he put aside one worry, another overcame him and refused to go away, lingering faintly in the air. Just as he was about to grit his teeth and try to convince Yin Zhan to forget it if he wasn’t willing to go, Yin Zhan suddenly opened his mouth.
“If you’re to speak of those above and under the heavens, what other family is as absurd as this one?”
Xiao Huai thought and thought. “It seems like there’s a family of cultivators in the living world that’s entirely made up of involuntary concubines. They say that as soon as they fall for you……” He suddenly stopped. At the very least, other people had chosen their wives themselves. Yin Zhan would even be perfectly willing to become an involuntary concubine himself!
Sure enough, Yin Zhan’s laughter was renewed. “As soon as they fall for you, huh……”
Xiao Huai didn’t dare to continue the conversation this time and just followed after him silently until they reached a lofty palace. Several members of the Yin family had already been waiting there for a long time, and upon seeing them, they tasked one person to run off as the messenger, while the rest of them cautiously welcomed them in.
For the time being, Yin Zhan didn’t move, saying, “There’s a box inside the left drawer of my desk, take it over to the Dreamsend Tower and look for your brother.”
This illusion of him handing over his belongings in case something happened made Xiao Huai and those of the Yin family nearby break out in cold sweat. Xiao Huai wanted to kneel down in front of him, as he shook his head like a rattle-drum. “No no, I don’t want it, I can save up my own money….”
“I’m giving it to you, so take it.” Yin Zhan didn’t allow his rejection to interrupt him, and in a haphazard manner, he entered the Ghost Palace.
Just like how the heavenly realm had ten great divine devices to protect and support it, the ghost realm also had its corresponding treasures. The Mirror of Enlightenment was one of them. It had always been safeguarded by the Ghost Palace, but because one of the Yin ancestors had a deep connection with it, the Mirror of Enlightenment had another purpose, which was to illuminate the fated ones of the Yin descendants.
Once members of the Yin family had reached a certain age, they all had to go over to be illuminated.
This was a family rule that could not be violated.
Xiao Huai remained outside, having been prevented from entering. Yin Zhan passed by countless checkpoints and entered a spacious room of stone. Looking around, aside from the Ghost King, everyone else in the room was of the Yin family. Farthest ahead of him was a plain mirror about half a person tall, the Mirror of Enlightenment.
When the Yin family members saw him smile as he callously strode over, they couldn’t help but nervously tense up, afraid that this youth would suddenly explode and tear down this place. After all……a hundred years ago, he had gone crazy just like that.
Yin Zhan’s father let out a sigh. He thought that he would have to feed his son some uplifting motivational stories, but instead, he was met with the sight of his son lazily waving his hand back and forth at him.
Yin Zhan said, “Just start, this day was inevitable anyway.”
The moment his voice fell upon their ears, he had coincidentally walked far enough that he was only ten steps away from the Mirror of Enlightenment. The mirror reacted with a flash of light.
The room of stone was quiet to the point that even a needle falling to the ground could be heard. Everyone faintly stopped breathing, waiting until the radiance completely faded away before they stretched out their necks to take a look. They became extremely excited just by overhearing the sound of several feminine voices. “Xiao ge[3]~ why don’t you smile~”
“Take a picture with jiejie[4], okay?”
“Aiya, don’t be shy!”
“Don’t……” On the surface of the mirror, a man was wearing a baseball cap on his head, doing his best to cover up most of his face. His exposed ears were completely red, and he was trembling while holding up an express delivery form. “All of you, don’t be like this, p-p-please sign here.”
The Mirror of Enlightenment simultaneously gave out a list of information: Tang You, male, 22 years old, express delivery employee, orphan.
Clear and concise.
Tsk tsk, this time it was actually an ordinary mortal…… those of the Yin family curiously looked towards the Mirror of Enlightenment, and seeing how Tang You was harassed for quite a while by those girls with greedy eyes until he ran away trembling, they secretly spoke amongst themselves, what a soft disposition, if he’s paired with Yin Zhan, there’s no way he wouldn’t be crushed like a flower in his hands!
But the key question was: would they be a good match?
They couldn’t help but look over at Yin Zhan.
Yin Zhan gazed at the fading image in the mirror, laughed, and perfunctorily said, “Oh, got it, thanks a lot.”
Yin family members: “……”
Yin Zhan turned around to leave, but suddenly felt an incredibly strong attractive pull. He didn’t even have time to react when he was yanked backwards into the mirror, sent flying in a split second.
Yin family members: “……”
Sure enough, it had turned out like this!
In these past several years, every single Yin family member who had an insincere heart or looked down on the Mirror of Enlightenment would be drawn into the mirror, falling into another dimension to wait for a fated encounter. It wouldn’t be long until Tang You would enter it as well.
Everyone couldn’t help but sigh ruefully, as they saw their own futilely stubborn selves from the past in him. But at this very moment, the Mirror of Enlightenment shone once again, and immediately afterwards, it transformed into an oval-shaped machine that then spat out a manual——it had been millennia, but this was still the first time the Mirror of Enlightenment had swallowed a member of the Yin family whole. They were immediately in awe.
“As expected of Xiao Zhan……” Someone muttered.
“Don’t talk nonsense,” Father Yin picked up the manual and read it over very quickly, saying, “Carry the thing away.”
Since everyone completely understood the circumstances, they rolled up their sleeves so as to move the machine. Since this was the intent of the Mirror of Enlightenment, the Ghost King was also hard-pressed to say anything and freely let them leave with it.
The spring winds were warm, and peach blossoms[5] were flourishing in bunches.
Currently, it was the weekend. In the business sector, people came and went. The streets were lively to an unusual extent.
Tang You parked his electric cargo tricycle[6] properly and walked over to a vendor’s stall on the side of the street to buy lunch.
Not far from there, an event was currently being held. The host’s excited voice could be heard loud and clear. Tang You took a bite of shaobing[7] and moved a few steps forward, intending to observe the crowd. A staff member who was giving out fliers had coincidentally walked nearby, smiling as they slipped him a small card that had a number written on it. “Xiao Shuaige[8], in a moment we’ll be holding a raffle, you can go take a look, and we have other segments as well.”
Tang You hadn’t finished eating all of his food, but he didn’t leave in a hurry, and politely said his thanks.
The staff member looked him over thoughtfully, before finally turning back elsewhere.
Not even five minutes had passed before the raffle segment arrived. It started with a few small prizes, before it was time for the first, second, and third prizes.
The host put his hand into the raffle box. “Next up is the first prize that thousands of people have their eyes on, the prize that’s our company’s newly developed transmigration experience machine. That’s right, none of you misheard me, this is a transmigration machine. Although today is April Fools’ Day, we aren’t scamming anyone.”
With roars of laughter coming from the audience offstage, the host finally took out their hand. “Got it, our prizewinner for the first prize is Number 520[9]! Number 520! Congratulations to this friend!”
Tang You stared blankly for a few seconds before he snapped out of it, and listening to the host ask if the person with this number was present or not, he didn’t dare to believe it even as he raised his hand.
“Saw it!” The host practically found him in an instant. “That shuaige over there, come, hurry up and come onto the stage!”
This was the first time that Tang You had ever won a major prize. Mind somewhat blanking out, he basically couldn’t remember any details about how it happened, only knowing that after he walked offstage, a crowd of people had quickly surrounded him.
“Hey, guys, have you finished taking a look? The host said it was a transmigration machine, what exactly does that mean?”
“It definitely wouldn’t be real transmigration…… damn, this is a 3D holographic gaming machine! Since you’re going into a different world from your perspective, you can also say that this is a transmigration experience machine!”
“How amazing!”
Tang You scratched his head and smiled, but when he looked around and saw several girls holding up their phones to take pictures of him, he immediately bolted.
The machine was half a person tall, but it wasn’t heavy at all. Tang You alone was enough to move it back to his apartment.
He put the thing down, tore open the packaging, and took off his baseball cap. The machine that shone with snow-white light immediately had his face reflected on its surface——this face was as delicate and pretty as the sunset, there was clear expression in his eyes, the corners of his mouth were slightly upturned, and his disposition seemed very good, like a harmless little animal that especially made people want to touch it. No wonder those girls’ eyes had lit up when they saw him.
Since there was still a period of time before his afternoon shift, Tang You attentively read the entire manual, plugged the machine into an electric power source, and pressed Start.
The screen very quickly turned bright, and a feminine, mechanical voice instantly rang out, “Welcome to the KNKSN transmigration gaming machine.”
Tang You was silent for a second, before he selected the voice intelligent mode and asked, “Those letters should be pronounced kay, en, kay, es, en, so is it that you don’t know how to read it, or is it that you didn’t read it wrong and “fucking you over to death”[10] is the preset pronunciation?”
The machine: “Apologies, your question is beyond the scope of this service.”
“……” Tang You looked at the screen that flashed out a “Continue or Not?” dialog box, hesitated for a bit, and finally let his curiosity get the best of him and pressed Yes. After listening to it introduce all of the game guidelines, it entered an incredibly complicated options page: World Setting, Species, Sex, Age, Lifespan, Family, Number of Spouses, Occupation, Transmigration Frequency, on and on and on and on.
Having made his choices one by one, just as he had finalized the settings and was about to smoothly go out and send off express deliveries, he happened to press on the confirmation key.
“Beep——!”
The entire machine lit up. In an instant, an incorporeal power drew Tang You unwaveringly onto a seat, and the image in front of his eyes rapidly distorted. Internally, he thought, this is too realistic, it wouldn’t actually be transmigration right…… he instinctually wanted to struggle free, but he couldn’t muster up even the least bit of strength. Just as he was about to resign himself to fate, he heard the sound of an electric current, zzt zzt, and with just that, the internal lights of the machine grew dark. Immediately afterwards, it started going red.
The machine: “Beep beep beep! The System is suffering from an unknown attack!”
Tang You: “……”
The alarm hadn’t gone off for very long when, in the next moment, a small window popped up on the screen: “Sorry, the System is crashing……”
Tang You: “……”
On the page, his initial choices suddenly began to spin rapidly, and everything turned into an unknown parameter. Tang You’s vision went black, and he lost consciousness.
When he opened his eyes again, he was on the edge of a cliff. His ears picked up on the sounds of a universally-appreciated divine song.
“You chase~ I fly~ You chase chase chase~ I fly fly fly~ Ah~ You chase~ I fly~”
Tang You’s mind was a mess. Only after quite a while had passed did he realize that he had transmigrated into a tree, and that the singing voice was coming from the tree beside him. He was shocked, listening to that tree continue to sing, “You chase chase chase~ I fly fly fly~ oh oh~ I just fly~”
This divine song was way too weirdly charismatic. Tang You was absent-minded for several seconds before he finally opened his mouth to wonder, “Even a tree can sing this……”
Yin Zhan let out an “oh,” turning cheerful.
Although he had been drawn into the Mirror of Enlightenment, he vaguely knew that the Mirror of Although he had been drawn into the Mirror of Enlightenment, he vaguely knew that the Mirror of Enlightenment had turned into a transmigration machine, and he even knew that the world he would arrive in would mirror the choices of this guy. He had initially assumed that Tang You would choose to transmigrate into a person, but who would’ve thought that he actually chose to transmigrate into a tree? He thought that it was pretty interesting. “Here it comes.”
“Mn……huh?” Tang You didn’t understand. “What came?”
“That isn’t important, this young master is feeling pretty good right now. Whatever you have to say can wait until I’ve finished singing, then you can ask,” Yin Zhan mentioned singing and thusly sang, “I fly up to the Heavens~ Heavens~ you can’t chase me up there~ there~ oh oh~ you chase~ I fly~”
Tang You: “……”
The divine song didn’t stop echoing and echoing past the precipice, and after a short period of time, a different tree near them probably couldn’t stand it anymore. Its most vivid, soft green leaves fell down from the top with a pop.
Tang You: “………………”
[1] Fifth young master. This term of address is left in pinyin so it doesn’t sound too clunky.
[2] Little. It’s a prefix added on to names or other ways of address to make them into endearing nicknames.
[3] Older brother. -ge is a term of address or honorific that’s the equivalent of -oniisan in Japanese. -gege is more like -oniichan.
[4] Older sister. -jie is a term of address or honorific that’s the equivalent of -oneesan in Japanese. -jiejie is more like -oneechan.
[5] Peach blossoms are representative of romance.
[6] Visual example below.
[7] Baked sesame seed-coated cake. Visual example below.
[8] Handsome older brother. Same thing as -ge, just with an extra adjective in front.
[9] 520 is a homonym for “I love you.”
[10] KNKSN is an acronym for the phrase “kēng nǐ kēng sǐ nǐ” which is literally “pit you pit you dead.” Rather than merely “fucking you over,” it’s done so underhandedly, such that “they’ve dug a pit (trap) for you to fall into.”
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Orange Translations 
I like it so far! Thank you for translating this Orange!!
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